she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
