He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
