Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
