Duck Duck Cougar?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize