I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
