Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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