I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize