Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
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