So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
