did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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