I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
