Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize