did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize