love makes seman taste better
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
