Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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