at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
