He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
