Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
