whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
