Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
whose parrot is this?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
