i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
