so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
