glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Barsexuality is the new black.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
