Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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