Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
