You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
