i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
