I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
