Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
