My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
