My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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