Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
