And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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