Already got asked if we're dating
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
