I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
