I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
