But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
