Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My ass is underappreciated
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
not ubering you a puppy
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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