either way he was missing a nipple.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
