I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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