My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
