Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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