i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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