is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
