i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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