How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
