I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
