are you still at the devil's house?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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