The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
