What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize