He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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