He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Randomize
