every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
