I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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