just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
