I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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