I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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