and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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