i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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