Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
