That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize