its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
